Lego Mini Fig Masterpiece Theater Presents: The Job Hunt

Welcome to Lego Mini Fig Masterpiece Theater where today’s tale will be reenacted for you by Lego Mini Figures. Duh.

Playing the role of me will be Hermione. (Of course)….




Playing the role of my hubba hubba hubby, Scope, will be the scantily clad Spartan Dude. (*wolf whistle*)….




And playing the part of our daughter, Gwen, will be the Vampire with the Baywatch Babe’s hair. (Trust me, it would make sense if you knew her)….




Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand now on with our show:



Before I moved to Chicago I worked as a nanny….




….for six whole nose-wiping, Dr. Seuss-reading, Pokémon-watching, play-doh-covered, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-filled years! But I’ve had a mini-van load of other jobs too, including eBay seller, portrait photographer, payroll administrator, window advertisement painter, and retail slave.

When I announced I was moving, everyone kept asking me what sort of job I would do once I got settled in my new life with Scope 2000 miles away.




I honestly didn’t know. I viewed the whole new job/new city/new life thing as something really freeing, y’know. I was all like, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m sure that absolutely ANYTHING is possible! Wheeeeee!”




*le uber-positive-thinking sigh*

Scope and I had a deal….




….that I wouldn’t bother getting a job here until January because I needed to learn my way around the city and feel at home and things like that, so for my first few months here I was jobless for the first time in a long, lonnnnngggggg time. And, I must admit, it was a nice change going from being the only contributing adult in my often stressed out single-parent life to being a non-contributing, stress-free slacker.




Temporarily, of course.

At the beginning of January, as was our agreement, I started my hunt for a new job. I figured it wouldn’t be hard finding something that would work with my daughter’s school schedule here in this huge, sprawling city—pfffft, no sweat, right? I mean, heck, I’ll take a retail job if I have to (at least until something more exciting comes along), I’m not that picky, so job offers will be just popping out of the ground like daisies at my feet.

Clearly.

Yeah.

But….

It’s been two months and the reality of the job hunt has been a little different than I envisioned. Basically, it has looked pretty much like this:




















It’s not that I’m unhirable or a loser or that Chicago hates me or anything like that (I hope!!!!), it’s just that there are NO jobs available. Friends and family and even the school crossing guard keep asking me if I’m working yet and I feel like a lowly stink bug having to confess the ugly truth: nope.


Scope keeps telling me it’s okay….




….but I don’t always feel it’s okay, because it’s NOT okay, okay? Sometimes I feel content and like things will fall in place when the time is right. Other times I feel….














I try to make up for the fact that Chicago is either a jobless wasteland or just doesn’t want me (*sniffle*) by being fanatical about doing the dishes and the laundry while Scope is at work and Gwen is at school. Because clean dishes and clean clothes make everything better, dammit. And those days when providing clean dinner wear and underwear for my beloved, hard-working family just doesn’t feel like enough, I bake cornbread too, because nothing seems to thrill my loved ones more than coming home to fresh baked cornbread.




These are my contributions and my skillz, people. Mm-hmm. And I guess Scope is right, it’s okay. Kinda. For now. However, if I have to admit to ONE more person that I’m STILL unemployed, I’m SOOOOO going to go hide and cry in the closet and never, ever come out! And since it’s dark in that closet and there’s no Cold Stone in there, that’s no good at all. So, I’ve decided enough is enough, I’m taking matters into my own hands: I’m hiring myself.

Uh-huh.

As of right now, I have decided that I am an eBay Seller once again. Yep. And, okay, maybe I don’t have anything to sell yet because I got rid of everything I didn’t want anymore when I moved over the summer and I shouldn’t really call myself a seller if I’m not selling anything because that makes no sense, blah, blah, blah, but those are just little details that will work themselves out sooner or later. Little details. Very small. Microscopic. No big deal.

The point is that the next time someone asks me if I’m working yet, I can hold my head up high and say, “uh-huh” rather than staring at the floor in shame. And while I’ll still be out there looking for a regular kind of job with a regular paycheck, I’ll also be looking for things to sell because, darn it all, I’m an eBay seller, and that’s what I do, so there! Ebay has been very good to me in the past, so I see no reason why it won’t be now. I’m back, baby!

I’M BACK!!

I’m employed. Employed by ME. And that feels pretty good.




Now if I can just scrounge up something to sell…. hmmmmm....

© Coracabana