Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Lego Mini Fig Masterpiece Theater Presents: The Job Hunt

Welcome to Lego Mini Fig Masterpiece Theater where today’s tale will be reenacted for you by Lego Mini Figures. Duh.

Playing the role of me will be Hermione. (Of course)….

Playing the role of my hubba hubba hubby, Scope, will be the scantily clad Spartan Dude. (*wolf whistle*)….

And playing the part of our daughter, Gwen, will be the Vampire with the Baywatch Babe’s hair. (Trust me, it would make sense if you knew her)….

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand now on with our show:

Before I moved to Chicago I worked as a nanny….

….for six whole nose-wiping, Dr. Seuss-reading, Pokémon-watching, play-doh-covered, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-filled years! But I’ve had a mini-van load of other jobs too, including eBay seller, portrait photographer, payroll administrator, window advertisement painter, and retail slave.

When I announced I was moving, everyone kept asking me what sort of job I would do once I got settled in my new life with Scope 2000 miles away.

I honestly didn’t know. I viewed the whole new job/new city/new life thing as something really freeing, y’know. I was all like, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m sure that absolutely ANYTHING is possible! Wheeeeee!”

*le uber-positive-thinking sigh*

Scope and I had a deal….

….that I wouldn’t bother getting a job here until January because I needed to learn my way around the city and feel at home and things like that, so for my first few months here I was jobless for the first time in a long, lonnnnngggggg time. And, I must admit, it was a nice change going from being the only contributing adult in my often stressed out single-parent life to being a non-contributing, stress-free slacker.

Temporarily, of course.

At the beginning of January, as was our agreement, I started my hunt for a new job. I figured it wouldn’t be hard finding something that would work with my daughter’s school schedule here in this huge, sprawling city—pfffft, no sweat, right? I mean, heck, I’ll take a retail job if I have to (at least until something more exciting comes along), I’m not that picky, so job offers will be just popping out of the ground like daisies at my feet.




It’s been two months and the reality of the job hunt has been a little different than I envisioned. Basically, it has looked pretty much like this:

It’s not that I’m unhirable or a loser or that Chicago hates me or anything like that (I hope!!!!), it’s just that there are NO jobs available. Friends and family and even the school crossing guard keep asking me if I’m working yet and I feel like a lowly stink bug having to confess the ugly truth: nope.

Scope keeps telling me it’s okay….

….but I don’t always feel it’s okay, because it’s NOT okay, okay? Sometimes I feel content and like things will fall in place when the time is right. Other times I feel….

I try to make up for the fact that Chicago is either a jobless wasteland or just doesn’t want me (*sniffle*) by being fanatical about doing the dishes and the laundry while Scope is at work and Gwen is at school. Because clean dishes and clean clothes make everything better, dammit. And those days when providing clean dinner wear and underwear for my beloved, hard-working family just doesn’t feel like enough, I bake cornbread too, because nothing seems to thrill my loved ones more than coming home to fresh baked cornbread.

These are my contributions and my skillz, people. Mm-hmm. And I guess Scope is right, it’s okay. Kinda. For now. However, if I have to admit to ONE more person that I’m STILL unemployed, I’m SOOOOO going to go hide and cry in the closet and never, ever come out! And since it’s dark in that closet and there’s no Cold Stone in there, that’s no good at all. So, I’ve decided enough is enough, I’m taking matters into my own hands: I’m hiring myself.


As of right now, I have decided that I am an eBay Seller once again. Yep. And, okay, maybe I don’t have anything to sell yet because I got rid of everything I didn’t want anymore when I moved over the summer and I shouldn’t really call myself a seller if I’m not selling anything because that makes no sense, blah, blah, blah, but those are just little details that will work themselves out sooner or later. Little details. Very small. Microscopic. No big deal.

The point is that the next time someone asks me if I’m working yet, I can hold my head up high and say, “uh-huh” rather than staring at the floor in shame. And while I’ll still be out there looking for a regular kind of job with a regular paycheck, I’ll also be looking for things to sell because, darn it all, I’m an eBay seller, and that’s what I do, so there! Ebay has been very good to me in the past, so I see no reason why it won’t be now. I’m back, baby!


I’m employed. Employed by ME. And that feels pretty good.

Now if I can just scrounge up something to sell…. hmmmmm....

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© Coracabana


Anonymous said...

Are you all downtown? I ask because my brother still lives up there. Tattoo artist. I don't know if they have any openings, but maybe he can give you some ink. Kidding, or not, depends on how you feel about that kind of thing. But seriously, maybe his shop has something. It's north of the city though, so I don't know if that would work. Just a thought.

Also, how weird is it that my word verification is "idlypet"?

FRANNIE said...

Current situation aside for a moment, I'm mostly impressed with your wide variety of Lego People.

I think your eBay idea is a good one...try scoping (giggle) out a thrift shop route in your area that you can hit every week, you may have to plunk down a little $$ to purchase a few things but if you can turn around and sell them on eBay for more $$$. Win!

Scope said...

Thrift stores? I hate to say this, but you and my mom should just team up. The two of you go through her house and share in the profits!

And I really like the macro lens! Does a great job on the minifigs!

Scope said...

And love you, too! <3

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Haha, I was wondering when you'd post your lego masterpiece! That's quite the collection you have there. Stupid economy with its lack of jobs. Here's hoping spring brings you something nice. You're pretty creative, have you thought about Etsy as well as Ebay?

Anonymous said...

I totally understand. Had a break down last night at dinner and scared our poor waitress, but not enough that she quit her job so I could have it.

words...words...words... said...

That's the way! Make your own job!

I love the pictures in this, especially the Mary Poppins one. It made me laugh :)

J.J. in L.A. said...

Ebay is a cool place to work! Your own hours and no boss looking over your shoulder.

SkylersDad said...

This was just brilliant! I haven't been posting much at all lately, due to work/life/Skyler/crap.

Kal said...

All this week I have been entertained more than any human has any write to be. If there was someway you could make money with your goofy little posts you would be doing yourself and the world a favor. And it's not like you went with only ONE style but SEVERAL different forms of communicating the funny has been your gift. I am sure there has to be some cutting edge advertising firm that would see your stuff and have you making public access tampon commercials by the next morning. That is my wish for you - to be the tampon lady of Chicago. Good luck with your search. If I could I would hire you just to entertain me. Every Emperor needs only the highest quality court jester.

Trooper Thorn said...

I can't believe Smug Karate Sensei and Bearded First Mate both said "No".

That one girl said...

That is a pretty sexy lego chick. Nice work! haha.

Work is overrated. Keep on making your cornbread. Maybe sell the cornbread?

Adlibby said...

It doesn't pay very well -- but you have a job! You are a writer! Hold your lego head high! I think you rock Cora. The right thing will come along. (My holy grail job is through a division of Kelly Temp - if you haven't tried them...just a thought.) Love you girl!