Thursday, December 8, 2011

Why I have had ABBA perpetually stuck in my head for three months.


I know. I deserve a Crappy Blogger Award. Or a slap on the hand. Or, at the very least, a stern glare and a murmured ‘you stink’.

I feel the shame.

I haven’t really been participating much in Blogaritaville lately. There’s no single big, bad, burly reason to blame it all on explain it. More like a steady stream of distractions—SQUIRREL!—which have kept me preoccupied: I’ve been feverishly job hunting, selling things on eBay, Christmas/birthday shopping, and attempting to write this year’s Christmas Letter completely in rhyme like ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas.

It’s a bit surprising how time-consuming those activities can be. However, the guilt and shame of ignoring you all has finally gotten to me, so let’s blog!

Yesterday was a BIG day here in Chicago. Even if I hadn’t been paying attention to the news, I still would have known Rod Blagojevich was wearing the dunce cap again.

I can always tell.

How? Well, I live in Blaggy’s neighborhood and whenever the Governor Gone Bad is having a bad day, helicopters swarm over my house. Yesterday morning there were at least four helicopters hovering overhead waiting for Blaggy to leave his home and head to court for sentencing. This was the view from my deck.


The noise was utterly obnoxious. It sounded like the sky was full of ticked off bees. I decided to take a stroll down the street to see how big the media circus was outside of Blaggy’s house, because how often do you get to see news crews camped out on your neighbor’s front lawn, right?

(Hopefully, not too often.)

There were reporters everywhere. The street was clogged with parked cars and vans. I stood across the street from the mob just kind of taking it all in. I started snapping pictures of the crowd as they waited for Blaggy to appear, when suddenly there he was!

Blaggy and his wife emerged from their house to go to court and I realized—WOAH!—that I was taking pictures of them.

(And, yes, his hair is even MORE ridiculous in person.)

Once Blaggy got into his car, the crowd swarmed around it trying to get pictures of him through the windows.

Then off the ex-governor went to court where he found out he has been sentenced to fourteen years behind bars for being an asshat. Ouch.

And that, my friends, is how I became an accidental paparazzo. I had no idea I would be seeing and snapping pictures of Rod Blagojevich on his way to court! I had only planned on scoping out the media frenzy, not actually participating in it. Whoopsie.

Other news from around here lately? Well….

Our Halloween costumes turned out pretty awesome. Wednesday was Catwoman, I was Poison Ivy, and Scope was a Rastafarian.

(And, yes, Wednesday and I sewed every silver stitch on her costume by hand—and I still have the callous to prove it.)

We spent our Thanksgiving visiting Scope’s family where Wednesday and Scope pulled the wishbone and Wednesday won.

But Wednesday’s most favorite Thanksgiving Day moment was seeing the brand new Tim Burton balloon in the Macy’s Parade!

(She still squeals when she thinks about it!)

Most sadly, one of our little pet frogs, Kermit, died unexpectedly. We don’t know what went wrong. He was swimming happily in his tank one minute, then flat on his back then next. Wednesday and I are completely heartbroken and we miss him very much. I’m just glad we managed to move the little frogs from Seattle to Chicago over the summer, so Kermit could spend his last couple of months with us. I know that means a lot to Wednesday that she got to have that time with him here.

We had a funeral for him. Wednesday picked out a planter that looks like water and a plant that looks like lily pads, then we buried Kermit beside the plant and she wrote his name on a heart-shaped rock.


And, last but not least, we have been playing bloggy hosts to Blogaritaville’s travelling porcine pal, Fernando Von Bakonstein!

Fernando used to hang out at The International House of Blogcakes (RIP) and has spent the last couple of years travelling around Blogaritaville, visiting his blog buddies. He came to us from our good friend Skyler’s Dad and we have been taking Fernando everywhere around Chicago and showing him a good time.

Hey, we even took Fernando to “The Hog Capital of the World”!!!!

We have been GREAT hosts…. but bad bloggers. We just haven’t gotten around to writing about our adventures with Fernando Von Bakonstein. Yet. However, REAL Fernando posts are in the works and I will be serving them up for you soon, swearsies!

Until then, please sit back and suffer through enjoy the song that has been chronically and mercilessly stuck in my head ever since Fernando arrived on our doorstep: ABBA - “Fernando”.


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Anonymous said...

You'll excuse me if I don't press play so it doesn't--DAMMIT! It's already playing inside my head. Get out! Get out!!

This is what I've got:

Man, is court expensive,
His bastardness is extensive.
The more you cause our child pain,
The more your parentage will wane.

I had two other lines, but one could sound too...umm...threatening.

SkylersDad said...

Yay for updates!! I am glad that Fernando is having fun with you all, I am sure you will show him a better time than I did. He got altitude sickness a lot...

Scope said...

Yeah, the Blago mess does make the neighborhood interesting, doesn't it?

FRANNIE said...


Vodka Mom said...

FIRST of all, I'm dizzy. You KNOW I"m ADD and can only handle ONE topic at a time.

Second. Let's do the CRAPPY blogger awards!!!! We'll post on Sunday. I'm topping my OWN list.

(hangs head in shame.) xoxoxo

Vodka Mom said...

and Blago. Really? REALLY???

(Did he think he would get away with it???)

So. Cal. Gal said...

"Fernando Von Bakonstein"



My best bud loves Abba sooooo much that he named his cat after them.

Pity the kitty.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

You? Bloggo? Me? ONE degree of separation. That fills me with a delight I can't adequetly express.

I have said it before and I will say it again - your one post a week is worth any hundred posts from someone with drivel to share.

Why does SCOPE look so comfortable as a Rastaman?

Scope said...

Cal - I will admit, the shirt is actually part of the standard wardrobe.