Monday, June 27, 2011

Boo Who?

Okay, so the other day Facebook served up a few new friend suggestions for me, all of which were complete strangers, as usual. Except one. Thaaaaaaaaaaat’s right: an ex-boyfriend I haven’t seen since high school.

(Way to go, Facebook.)

*rolling my eyes*


Let’s call this particular ex-boyfriend George. George Michael Wannabe.

My relationship with Mr. Wannabe was—umm—complicated…. mainly because I only dated him to get revenge on my annoying little sister and my ex-best friend, Trayla Trash (don’t remember Trayla? Click HERE), who both had drooling, oozing, festering crushes on George, while George, clearly oblivious to the therapy-causing, life-ruining pain it caused the other two girls, only had eyes for me.

Long story short, I quickly got sick of George, his telling EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME that he was going to be a bigger singer than George Michael one day, and his constant off-key singing of “Father Figure” in a sad attempt to prove it. But the final straw for me was the day he serenaded me with a stooOOooOOpid love song he was making up on the fly in front of my mother and grandmother, who were both crying their faces off with silent laughter. I broke up with George the next day.

(Ahhh, schoolgirl revenge via the dating of dumb boys, it ain’t pretty.)


I haven’t seen, talked to, nor thought about George in over 20 years. The last time I saw him, he was telling me I would regret breaking up with him because he was going to be famous. No—famouser than famous! Wait!—make that THE MOST FAMOUSEST FAMOUS DUDE WHO EVER FAMED!!!!

*cough—delusional twit—cough*

Naturally, upon seeing George there on Facebook, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a quick peek at his info page to see what he’s doing these days since I’m pretty sure that the more-famous-than-George-Michael thing didn’t quite work out the way he was hoping for. And….


No, really.

I…. I hardly know what to say.

George is a….



….a Ghostbuster. Oy.

He travels around with a bunch of funky gadgets looking for ghosts and posts pictures of himself wearing velvet suits and top hats on the internet. Yep. Seriously. I swear I'm not making this up.

And I honestly can’t figure out if I think that is really moronic or kinda cool….?

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The Vegetable Assassin said...

I wanna see him. I wanna SEE Velvet George who hunts ghosts. Make it so!

BeckEye said...

I'm totally gonna friend this guy.

Anonymous said...

So he's a gay paranormalist?

Heff said...

Moronic. Just like Faceook.

So. Cal. Gal said...

I'm with Vegetable Assassin! ; )

Scope said...

Maybe he's doing one of those "Haunted Seattle" ghost tour things?

And I'm impressed that he can afford velvet on that gig.

Shana said...

That is funny!!

Anonymous said...

I sooo can't figure out who it is and I am YING to know!

words...words...words... said...

Now I know what I want to be when I grow up.

Kal said...

Some women drive men to drink and you drive them to ghostbusting. It's kinda sad...pathetic really because he never ever found a single ghost ever in his life and people who chase imaginary creatures need help and medication. Lots and lots of medication. You can't make this shit up.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Ummm, that's a toss up.

It's peculiular in the most interesting of ways.

FRANNIE said...

I just want to know where he gets the velvet suits, he must live in LA.