Monday, September 26, 2011

The one where I steal stuff from Joshua

Okay, so I was just over on Vive le Nerd and Joshua was talking about Write or Die, this stream of consciousness writing tool where you set a word count, a time limit, and a consequence if you—*gasp!*—don’t reach your selected word count in your set time limit…. and then you stare at the blank page and think things to yourself like ‘this is stupid’ and ‘Self, you’re not the boss of me’ and ‘I’d rather be scrubbing the freaking toilet… or maybe not’ write about whatever comes into your mind.

I thought I’d take a whack at it. My goal was 300 words in 15 minutes. My consequence was walking an extra mile on my treadmill if I failed. And this is what I got:

Well, great. Great. Now I can’t think of anything. Blank mind. Nope. Nothing. Nothing in here. NUTHING. Just brain-cobwebs and thought-tumbleweeds. Nothing more.

This is ridiculous. What to say? What to say?

Umm…. I like chocolate cake and Oreos and mixed nuts (the party food AND the Christmas movie! BEST! CHRISTMAS! MOVIE! EVER!) and taking pictures and thrift stores and eBay. Which reminds me….

Thanks to eBay, I’m probably about halfway done with my Christmas shopping already. Sad, I know. It’s only September, but still, I can’t help myself. I just can’t Christmas shop at the last minute. CAN’T. I think that would qualify as my worst nightmare, shopping for 20 people on Christmas Eve.

*curling into a ball on the floor*

I had a dream the other night that I was watching a brand new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. They had recast Elizabeth Swan. Yep. Keira Knightley was out. OUT! In her place?

Martin Starr.

In drag.

I swear I’m not making this up. I forget what else happened in the dream. There was something about running in a ditch behind Martin Starr/Elizabeth Swan and I’m pretty sure
Scope was there, running behind me, but I don’t know why we were running.

Then again, why WEREN’T we running?

Jeez, I am ALWAYS running in my dreams. Running and doing astoundingly impossible gymnastic feats to escape who/whatever is chasing me. Like the time I scaled a pile of snow as tall as a two story house faster than a squirrel—or Edward Cullen—in a tree.

Or the time I kicked the butts of a hundred feral boys in their underpants with my umbrella.

Or the time I was hanging by a chain upside down over a field of sharp knives and I swung and back flipped through an open window of a castle and ran through the hallways until I came to a screeching halt in front of a mirror and stared at myself…. because I was kind of surprised to see I was Jack Sparrow.


I guess I dream about Pirates of the Caribbean a lot too. Whatever.

Aaaaaaaand, done! 354 words in 15 minutes. Yeah, baby! But, because I’m all pro-getting-back-in-shape-and-getting-my-rear-back-into-my-smaller-pants lately, I’m STILL going to walk an extra mile on my treadmill anyway even though I met my goal. See, maybe this way I’ll meet TWO goals today, huh?

*fingers crossed*

So, wanna play along? If so, either post your stream of consciousness on your blog or in the comments section here. Have fun! :-)

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Anonymous said...

Fantastic! Martin Starr in drag as Elizabeth Swann? I'd pay to see that.

Pearl said...

Now I'm dizzy.



Scope said...

Pearl... Welcome to my word. :-P

So. Cal. Gal said...

You mean you want me to WORK my brain?! *gasp*

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Oh geeze....I'm not sur the world is ready for a stream of Candy's consciousness.

Mandy said...


Shana said...

I like Christmas shopping early too!!!

words...words...words... said...

This reminds me of a mini version of NaNoWriMo. And I can't do that either :( I can't write stream of consciousness and I can't keep writing without editing. I'm too anal.

But YOU did some crazy brainstorming. I'm with Pearl.