Pieces of Eight

Eight.


It was eight years ago yesterday that I beat the odds and kicked Death in the tender man bits.  It’s a long story involving my spinal cord, a blood clot, and a team of perplexed doctors in the ER who now call me ‘miracle’ because it wasn’t supposed to be possible to survive it without major paralysis (think Christopher Reeve) and yet I somehow magically did and walked out of the hospital.  (If you want those kind of gory details, click HERE.) 


Needless to say, November 18th is always one of my favorite days of the year.


Now, some people don’t want me to talk about that day here anymore or say “yay, I’m happy to be alive” and things like that. Some people think I should pretend it never even happened in case I “frighten” my 16 year old by “reminding” her of it…. although how on earth I am expected to erase it from existence when I still have nerve damage and numbness on almost 50% of my body and we live with it every damn day of our lives is beyond me!  (Some people have no lives and need to butt out of other people’s personal health issues.  Clearly.)  However, I’m not going to bow like that to some people anymore.


No.


I celebrated my eighth “re-birth day” yesterday by going back through all the hundreds of posts I deleted back in March because of some people and re-published all my November 18th posts from the past because, well, it’s MY reality, it’s MY story to tell, it’s MY right to tell it, it’s MY blog, and—fuck it—I’m NOT taking dictation here. 


(Oh, and the other hundreds of deleted posts?  They’ll be coming back too…. just not quite yet because it will take some time to go through them all, and I’ve got something more important to do this week:  LIKE GOING ON VACATION!!!!)


(Woo-hoo!)


So, anyway…. the moral of the story is:  Surviving a health crisis is good.  And people who try to hijack your blog and use your health against you in a court case are assholes.  There.  But anyway….


I’m not sure if I’ll be skipping through Blogaritaville much this week before we take off on our vacay, so, if not, have a Happy Thanksgiving, you guys!  I hope it’s tryptophan-tastic! 


JJ, we will be seeing you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!  :-)






© Coracabana

You Can’t Handle The Truth: The Results Show

Yesterday, if you’ll recall, I was challenged by JJ in LA to tell you six weird truths and one bizarre lie about myself and to set YOU the tricky task of sniffing out the fib amongst the facts.

Just in case you missed it, here are the statements I gave you to decipher:


1. I once ate an entire Entenmann’s Chocolate Cake in a single day and it was gooOOooOOood.
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2. I once ate an entire lemon as a snack and it was gooOOooOOood.
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3. In a clothing store I once met the lame-tastic band SWV (raise your hand if you remember them...... no?...... that's what I thought) and accidentally ticked them off ‘cuz had no flippin’ idea who they were and *gasp* treated them like regular people.
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4. I have an autographed picture of The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.
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5. I have a ladle autographed by The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.

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6. Over the weekend I got yelled at by a pregnant woman who is mad at me because I invited her to my wedding and she can’t find a dress big enough to fit her.
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7. I once caught a snake in my backyard and wrapped it around my neck and made a boy run away from me screaming in terror.
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Alrighty, so here’s the truth:


YES, I have both an autographed ladle and autographed picture of The Soup Nazi in my kitchen! :-)

YES, a preggo chick yelled at me because she can’t find a dress to wear to my wedding. *rolling my eyes* I utterly fail to see how this is my fault or my problem, do you?

YES, I once met SWV in a clothing store I worked in in college. I listen to good music, people, thus I had NO IDEA WHATSOEVER who they were and I ended up offending them because I told them they had to wait a minute while I helped another customer who had asked me first. (Awwww, there there there, SWV, you poor, poor souls. Being treated like regular folk sucks, I know. Soooooo sad.) I only found out who they were after they left and the cashier I was working with said in awe, “ohmigawd, that was SWV!!!” and I said “….Ummmmm…. who?”

YES, I once caught a snake, wrapped it around my neck and made a boy go running out of my backyard while screaming his face off. I was about 10 years old and I loved (LOVED) snakes and lizards and creepy crawlies and used to catch them and keep them in buckets under our deck whenever I could get away with it, much to my mother’s disgust. Heh heh heh.

YES, I once ate a lemon. I peeled it and ate it like an orange. I used to crave lemons and eat them all the time in high school. No idea why. And, no, I never sweetened them with sugar first.

NO, I did NOT eat an entire Entenmann’s cake in one day. Please, people. Please. I ate it in two days, okay? And then I ran out and bought another one. Mwahahahahaha!!!! But eating it all in one day DOES sound like something I would totally do, so you’re all forgiven for assuming I actually did it!

;-)
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© Love Letters By Cora

You Can’t Handle The Truth!

Sooo, last week the most ubersplendiferous JJ in LA tagged me with the Bold Faced Liar Creative Writer Blogger Award, which looks a little something like this:


Ain’t that purty?

Of course, to receive this award in a legit manner (as opposed to just ripping it off) there are a few rules I must follow:

•Express gratitude to the blogger who bestowed the award unto you.
•Display the picture on your blog proudly.
•Be nice and provide a link to the person who gave it to you.
•Tell up to 6 outrageous lies about yourself, and at least 1 outrageous truth, or switch it around and tell 6 outrageous truths and 1 outrageous lie.
•Nominate 7 creative writers who might be into doing this.
•Post links to the seven blogs you nominate and let the owners of those blogs know.


Mm-kay, so I’m going to tell you seven things and only ONE of them is a lie. Think you know which one is a ridiculous falsehood? Hmm? Well, do ya, punk?! Leave a comment and let me know.

1. I once ate an entire Entenmann’s Chocolate Cake in a single day and it was gooOOooOOood.

2. I once ate an entire lemon as a snack and it was gooOOooOOood.

3. In a clothing store I once met the lame-tastic band SWV (raise your hand if you remember them...... no?...... that's what I thought) and accidentally ticked them off ‘cuz had no flippin’ idea who they were and *gasp* treated them like regular people.

4. I have an autographed picture of The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.

5. I have a ladle autographed by The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.

6. Over the weekend I got yelled at by a pregnant woman who is mad at me because I invited her to my wedding and she can’t find a dress big enough to fit her.

7. I once caught a snake in my backyard and wrapped it around my neck and made a boy run away from me screaming in terror.

Okay, so which one of those statements is a lie? Let me know what you think.

And while you’re busy mulling it over, I’m going to nominate the following bloggers to lie their faces off: Words Words Words, The Vegetable Assassin, Cal, Candy, Gwen, Soda & Candy, and God…. hey, whatever happened to him anyway???? Let’s see if we can’t lure him back into blogging, shall we?
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© Love Letters By Cora