Tuesday, June 15, 2010

And Now For an Actual Conversation with a Six Year Old Boy:


Six Year Old Boy: “Did you know that this one time I had a candy cane stuck?”

Me: “Stuck? Like in your mouth?”

SYOB (giggling uncontrollably): “NO! STUCK ON MY BUTT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

Me: “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

SYOB (in deep, serene, misty-eyed thought): “But it was okay. I farted it off.”


(Tomorrow is my last day being a Nanny to that six year old boy and his little sister. Starting Thursday, I’ll be making a living solely on eBay, selling off all my mountains of accumulated junk until the wedding and the move to Chicago in a couple of weeks. Farting off a candy cane, I swear…. I’m gonna miss those little guys! *sniffle*)

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Thursday, June 10, 2010

249-325/365

And now for an update on my increasingly pitiful attempt at Project 365.


Day 255 (March 30, 2010)

Scope keeps telling me he’s never seen a slug before and my Seattle-raised self simply can not compute a slugless existence. At. All. Whaaaaaaa—? I mean, slugs are EVERYWHERE 24/7, aren’t they? Like this one that tried to come in my front door when I took the garbage out….



Day 257 (April 1)

Here’s how we do breakfast on April Fools Day in my house. You’re welcome….



Day 269 (April 13)

Every Christmas my daughter and I make a gingerbread house (this year we got a little cheap ultra creative and made our gingerbread house out of Tootsie Rolls instead like a little log cabin) but once the Holidays are over we can’t stand the thought of just throwing it away, so we don’t. Nope. Instead, we take our gingerbread house into the woods and leave it there for the fairies to live in. Yes, really….







Day 270 (April 14)

Scope took me and Gwen to The Art Institute of Chicago, and of all the amazing art I saw that day, somehow this is still my favorite. Hee hee hee….



Day 279 (April 23)

Okay, so not only did a slug try to break into my house when I took the trash out, but another time I ventured out to the garbage can I accidently stumbled upon.... umm.... friendly worms. Ewwwwww….



Day 287 (May 1)

We picked up some star fruit. Mmmmm….



Day 320 (June 3)

We picked up some apricots and decided to rename them “butt fruit” for cheeky reasons. *snicker*….



Day 323 (June 6)

Okay, so I accidently had the zoom on the camera when I turned it on Scope and myself, but I think this uberclose-up is still charming in its own way….



Day 325 (June 8)

Some of the flowers in my backyard after I tweaked the picture’s colors in my photo editing playground….


[….to be continued….]
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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Scopetacular!

Thursday night, my dear sweet fiancé, Scope, flew into town to spend a whole weekend visiting me and my daughter, Gwen. Now, anyone who has a calendar nearby or a few fingers or toes to count on can tell you that last Thursday was June 3rd.

Mm-hmm.

Powerful date, that June 3rd. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, yes. My my my. Why you ask? Well, being that our wedding will be on July 3rd, June 3rd meant there was just one small, teeny, tiny month to go until Scope and I are hitched.

Let’s just pause and let that sink in for a moment, shall we?…….

One month!

Four weeks!!

30 days!!!

Holy *&#$!!!!

Now, normally, as you know, I like to take my time dishing the dirt and dissecting my weekends with Scope, day by day by day. However, since the wedding is now a mere 24 days away and I have much to do (ACK!!), I have developed a new bloggidy philosophy on that: screw it. Therefore, I’m now going to smoosh all three days into one Scopetacular post and be done with it, ‘cuz those flower arrangements are just not going to order themselves, people!

Sooo, here we go….

My weekend with Scope was a saucy, scrumptious swirl of weddinginess, including pizza tasting at Vince’s….


Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: pizza tasting? What does that have to do with a wedding?! Let me explain: Our Rehearsal Dinner is going to be full of out-of-town guests all popping in and out and running amok, thus we’ve decided to rent a banquet room at a local hotel and have a Rehearsal Potluck instead of a formal dinner. Much, much easier. Scope’s mom wants to bring pizza and wanted us to tell her if Vince’s pizza will do, so like a good bride and groom, we tried it out. Our verdict: two thumbs up!

Mmmmmmmm….

But our weekend wasn’t all about Italian food and wedding plans, it was also chock full of family time, like visiting my mom’s new home and playing many a game (and many a heated rematch!) of Harry Potter Clue and Mille Bornes with Gwen….


And, as always, we hugged, kissed, joked, laughed, and got our goof on. A LOT….


(Okay, some got their goof on a little more than others. *wink*)

But, most sadly and suckily, before we knew it our weekend was over and it was time for me to take my fantastic fiancé back to the stupid, crappy airport.

For.

The.

Very.

Last.

Time.

That’s right. Never ever again will I take my fiancé to the airport. Never. Never, never, NEVER!!!! The next time I take Scope to the airport, he’ll be my husband.

*big ol’ spazzy happy dance*


:-)
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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

You Can’t Handle The Truth: The Results Show


Yesterday, if you’ll recall, I was challenged by JJ in LA to tell you six weird truths and one bizarre lie about myself and to set YOU the tricky task of sniffing out the fib amongst the facts.

Just in case you missed it, here are the statements I gave you to decipher:


1. I once ate an entire Entenmann’s Chocolate Cake in a single day and it was gooOOooOOood.
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2. I once ate an entire lemon as a snack and it was gooOOooOOood.
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3. In a clothing store I once met the lame-tastic band SWV (raise your hand if you remember them...... no?...... that's what I thought) and accidentally ticked them off ‘cuz had no flippin’ idea who they were and *gasp* treated them like regular people.
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4. I have an autographed picture of The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.
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5. I have a ladle autographed by The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.

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6. Over the weekend I got yelled at by a pregnant woman who is mad at me because I invited her to my wedding and she can’t find a dress big enough to fit her.
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7. I once caught a snake in my backyard and wrapped it around my neck and made a boy run away from me screaming in terror.
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Alrighty, so here’s the truth:


YES, I have both an autographed ladle and autographed picture of The Soup Nazi in my kitchen! :-)

YES, a preggo chick yelled at me because she can’t find a dress to wear to my wedding. *rolling my eyes* I utterly fail to see how this is my fault or my problem, do you?

YES, I once met SWV in a clothing store I worked in in college. I listen to good music, people, thus I had NO IDEA WHATSOEVER who they were and I ended up offending them because I told them they had to wait a minute while I helped another customer who had asked me first. (Awwww, there there there, SWV, you poor, poor souls. Being treated like regular folk sucks, I know. Soooooo sad.) I only found out who they were after they left and the cashier I was working with said in awe, “ohmigawd, that was SWV!!!” and I said “….Ummmmm…. who?”

YES, I once caught a snake, wrapped it around my neck and made a boy go running out of my backyard while screaming his face off. I was about 10 years old and I loved (LOVED) snakes and lizards and creepy crawlies and used to catch them and keep them in buckets under our deck whenever I could get away with it, much to my mother’s disgust. Heh heh heh.

YES, I once ate a lemon. I peeled it and ate it like an orange. I used to crave lemons and eat them all the time in high school. No idea why. And, no, I never sweetened them with sugar first.

NO, I did NOT eat an entire Entenmann’s cake in one day. Please, people. Please. I ate it in two days, okay? And then I ran out and bought another one. Mwahahahahaha!!!! But eating it all in one day DOES sound like something I would totally do, so you’re all forgiven for assuming I actually did it!

;-)
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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

You Can’t Handle The Truth!


Sooo, last week the most ubersplendiferous JJ in LA tagged me with the Bold Faced Liar Creative Writer Blogger Award, which looks a little something like this:


Ain’t that purty?

Of course, to receive this award in a legit manner (as opposed to just ripping it off) there are a few rules I must follow:

•Express gratitude to the blogger who bestowed the award unto you.
•Display the picture on your blog proudly.
•Be nice and provide a link to the person who gave it to you.
•Tell up to 6 outrageous lies about yourself, and at least 1 outrageous truth, or switch it around and tell 6 outrageous truths and 1 outrageous lie.
•Nominate 7 creative writers who might be into doing this.
•Post links to the seven blogs you nominate and let the owners of those blogs know.


Mm-kay, so I’m going to tell you seven things and only ONE of them is a lie. Think you know which one is a ridiculous falsehood? Hmm? Well, do ya, punk?! Leave a comment and let me know.

1. I once ate an entire Entenmann’s Chocolate Cake in a single day and it was gooOOooOOood.

2. I once ate an entire lemon as a snack and it was gooOOooOOood.

3. In a clothing store I once met the lame-tastic band SWV (raise your hand if you remember them...... no?...... that's what I thought) and accidentally ticked them off ‘cuz had no flippin’ idea who they were and *gasp* treated them like regular people.

4. I have an autographed picture of The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.

5. I have a ladle autographed by The Soup Nazi hanging in my kitchen.

6. Over the weekend I got yelled at by a pregnant woman who is mad at me because I invited her to my wedding and she can’t find a dress big enough to fit her.

7. I once caught a snake in my backyard and wrapped it around my neck and made a boy run away from me screaming in terror.

Okay, so which one of those statements is a lie? Let me know what you think.

And while you’re busy mulling it over, I’m going to nominate the following bloggers to lie their faces off: Words Words Words, The Vegetable Assassin, Cal, Candy, Gwen, Soda & Candy, and God…. hey, whatever happened to him anyway???? Let’s see if we can’t lure him back into blogging, shall we?
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